A slow down and toot

Interesting tidbits on chess are a bit thin lately. Unless, of course, you'd like to read another story on Man vs Machine. And while we're enjoying the zonals, chessers do need a healthy distraction. So my dear readers, I ask for your pardon in advance as I indulge in a little slow down and toot. For you blokes out there, wouldn't you like to play against this?